Saturn Heart’s blog

What's your favorite thing about Monday?

Today?

Absofuckinglutely NOTHING! Today was the most sucktastic day I've had in quite awhile. Nothing went the way it was supposed to, seriously?! I don't need this sort of stress.. And what sort of question is that? Who the hell like monday at ALL to begin with!?

I'm sorry...was that way to hatred filled for you? Oops..

Lawd...jesus.

There's so much going on right now. We have two weeks before we move, and we've barely gotten anything done. I told myself at work, (yes I speak with myself daily at work, she said "yo wussup") that I will pack no less than 3 boxes a day until we leave. Startin' tomorrow, 'cause we just took the kitchen table over to the in laws house, and are currently watching the season premiere of Medium..yes yes I too have gotten hooked. I know, my priorities are all out of whack!

I solemnly swear to pack 3 boxes every day for the rest of this week, so help me Bob!

I so can't wait until there's just miles and miles of road ahead of us...

Wow...
It's been a hot minute since I've been on here.. I miss it here. I truly do. So much has changed since the last time I was on here. It will honestly take me a day to get every detail caught up, and right now I just don't have the time to do that.

Since the last post, we have moved into another apartment, this time more centralized in the city. However that is soon to change again, as we are currently in the process of packing up and move to The Big City (ny). We'll be living with LMS's older sister and her familia. Her older sister, who I get along with and like MUCH better than her younger sister, has a "gues house" that we are going to be living in. So this is where we will begin our new, and stable-esque sort of life. Try to get somewhat financially sound (i.e. get rid of debt if possible, finish up education somewhat etc). I can't wait!

LMS and I were going through a dry spell of no intimacy that was KILLING me...seriously. I have always thought of myself as being in a relationship where physical sexuality was not a problem. However in the last few months...it really has been, with her not wanting to do it at all or simply "not feeling like it, I'm too tired, maybe tomorrow". So naturally I was getting beyond fed up. I have never thought of actually going out and cheating, nor do I condone anyone else doing it. However she has always known that I would like...to be with one guy..just once.. to see what the hallabaloo is all about. She's been one before...she knows. So there are these two guys that started talking to me. One a while back around July/August..he is known as Chocolate Biceps. He's sweet, very soft spoken, educated. A construction worker who is a couple of days older. At first he seemed really sweet and slightly innocent. I have recently found out this isn't so. When LMS and I took out vacay, Choco Biceps and I stopped talking for a bit.. we resumed about a month and a half later, with heated texts and phone calls. It reached its cresendo, and then that was it. We did not meet..I was a happily engaged woman, why would I. Then Life picked up again, and the christmas season at RED (yes I'm still here can you believe it?! Damn near a year later!) picked up. We interviewed people to take some of the positions, and then I got promoted. After my promotion..I met this adorable baby faced 18 year old highschooler. I'm thinkin' "Aaaaaw he is so ADORABLE! Can I pinch your cheeks?". I mean he was really quite cute, in a...Chris Brown sort of way. Young, hot, but barely legal. Yes I could have little cutesy daydreams about him feeding me grapes, but it would stop there. 1) because he was young (4 years is 4 years :P). 2) because I HIGHLY doubt he even remotely felt the same way. and 3) because this was work. Well.. all of those got blown to hell. "Why?" might you ask? Well one day I'm sitting in the front office, I have glasses on my hair is down and I'm entering in some paper work. In Baby Face walks comes and he says "Damn...you look sexy". Now not only did that catch me completely off gaurd, but it also let me know,hey, maybe he's been daydreaming about me as much as I have him. He then describes to me exactly what makes me look so sexy at that moment, when I felt like a serious four-eyed freak. Of course I nearly melt. Then screen names are exchanged and we begin talking to one another over IM's, texts and phones ( I swear those 3 ALWAYS get me into trouble). To make a long story short....he's fallen for me. His words, not mine. He wants me to have his children blah blah blah. It's cute in a baby boy sort of way but nothing more. Of course I don't believe I would have spoken to either of these dudes had I not had this "gangstah type of need" (as Jill Scott so incredibly puts it) of gettin' my groove on. It was ridiculous. Seriously. It got to the point where the newest season at work has begun, and since then Baby Face has decided not to work for RED. He texts me one night "Hey shawty what're you doing, are you alone"? Of course I'm not..LMS is laying right beside me. Inevidably we text back and forth, and he wants to come over on a day off of mine while LMS is away at work to get his... before I knew what I was doing...I obliged.
It must've been something in the air that she could feel, because the very next morning LMS texts me at work saying "You know what? I think I'll take Friday and Saturday off, that way we can spend those two days together". So of course I had to text him "ABORT ABORT" :P! I am so glad for that though.... because this past weekend, LMS and I had a chance to hang out...re-connect...Something we haven't done in a WHILE! it was mind blowing, body tingling, beautiful. We used nearly all of our new toys, which we haven't done in a while either. Before it was simply because they wouldn't fit...but we've worked that out too :D. I couldn't ever leave this woman, and its not simply because of the sex. Had it been I would've already been out there with Choco Biceps, or Baby face doin' the do. It's everything about her...I love the way she smells in the morning, the way she'll curl her leg around mine when she's cold and needs my body warmth. She's so beautiful to me, and I love that about her.
I know it was wrong of me to even entertain the thought of straying, and she and I did talk about that topic when I felt that she no longer craved me the way I still craved her...we talked about me being with other people as a possibility...but... I wanted, and still want, and will ALWAYS want her. No matter how many Chocolate Baby faced biceps come running along...

So to update...I know it's been quite a while..and I have no excuse as to why I haven't been on here alot more. I feel like everytime I come on here...I'm whining...which is true. I've got to learn to stop doing that, but it ain't gonna be over night people :P!

Well I've officially been out of Mi Hermana De Mal y Parental Controls house for 4 months now. It feels good more often times than not. But for the last couple of months it's been ...interesting. I stopped working at "Big A", because of their diablerie (yaaaaay new word!). Their treatment of me...Let me just put it this way, my mother did not raise me to be treated in such a manner as they did. So I quite. Simple as that. However..that put me without employment for nearly 2 months. In that time I joined 3 count em 3 temp agency who magically had nothing for me until recently.

So fast forward to now, tomorrow I go to work at...what we will call Red, as a customer support technician...ooooooh fun times. it isn't my dream job, it isn't in the field I want to be in...hell...it isn't even a permanent position. But right now, it's something. I view this as a way of God saying "Here's something to tied you over in the mean time, until I get your career ready, so simmer down".

As you can imagine it's put stress on LMS. But mostly she's been very supportive. The only complaint I have is her annoying younger sister we'll call her Malevolent. Malevolent has had a lot of misfortune (mostly of her own doing) in her life. She's tryin' to make her life better...but in the interim passes judgment on nearly EVERYTHING! Even telling her sister at one point that she thought I was more or less a second class citizen because I didn't have a job nor any current income. Something that I was trying as hard as I could to change. To put all things simply, She's an evil bitch. I don't say this to be mean, or spiteful, I say it because it's true. And if you were to ever call her that ...to her face, she would say, almost pridefully, "I know I know...Oh well".
I've had people say the same thing when someone has let them know of their Bitcherdom. It urks me to NO END! You don't say "I know", you do something to change it! It isn't something to be proud of! But what can you say? If someone feels thats an excellent quality that they have...then... well...let them continue to believe that. They won't change unless something big and scary happens to them.
Even so, if you do anything to her...anything at all that is to her disliking, she is likely to catch a major attitude with you. It may last...however long. BUT! If the role is switched and she does something that you detest, she shrugs and expects you to just take it. Does this sort of personality ring a bell to any of you out there!?!? YES! it reminds me of a more wretched Mi Hermana De Mal! Only she isn't mine. And there isn't much I can do. Just hope, wish, and pray that soon we will have enough to be in an apartment that is purely ours and ours alone.

Speaking of MHDM she is doing great and her and my lov-er-ly niece and nephew are blooming out in the boonies, all the power to them! I wish them well!
The Parental Control, is doing well also. However like any parent misses her children and is sick of taking care of people. I can't blame her, she is in desperate need of a vacation.

Everything on the social front is going ok...I celebrated my friends' 20th birthday yesterday by a day of board games and cooking her dinner. She enjoyed herself immensley. I'm glad I could help.

Well folks thats all for now, I will try desperately to update as frequently as I possibly can...promise! Kisses people!

OUTTIE 5!!!!

What aspect of your personality could use a little work?

My shyness...I'm alittle to shy for my own good, and that shyness that "meager-ness" if you will, takes away my "balls". I'm just learning how to stand up for my self. Just now...at 21 years of age. I'm glad that it's finally happening, but I could have done it a lot sooner...and I still have such a long way to go...but I'm getting there :D.

What fragrance/cologne do you put on when it's your night out? 
Submitted by noiq.

Weeeeeeell I used to dabble in that little girl crap like "White Musk" (though I still love that scent). However now that I've grown up alittle, I've graduated to Dolce & Gabbana's "Sicily". It's deep notes send out sensuality, and its lighter notes send out the flirtatious vibes. it's great for when you want to be smolderingly happily sexy!

Man o man,

   It has been weeks since I've been on here. Which I know I know is bad, you don't have to tell me. I miss blogging, really I do. things have just been so busy and I've been so tired between work, the stress of living with mi hermana de mal, school, and my girlfriend, it's been a stetch.

But I am here to tell you all, that that will be ending soon! As my darling Little Miss Sunshine and I have decided to make the leap and move in together! Well..her, I, her sister and her sis's hubby. Yes I know that seems to be alot of people. But I think all of us will get along together just fine. Although I am slightly annoyed when her sis...we'll call her.."Redo" and her sis's hubby...we'll call him..."Teardrop", anywho I get annoyed when Redo and Teardrop fight, which is ALL the time. They've only been married about 3 months, and already both of them have threatened divorce (or in thier case anullment) more times than I can count. So this, needless to say, will be a situation I'll be watching closely.

So right now we're in the searching process, with our move in date (for where ever we're planning to move) set for the first of the year. We're looking at 2 bed/2 bath for under or around $1100/$1200.Which where I live isn't completely unatainable. You just gotta do some searching is all. :P

My mother doesn't agree with this at all, and she has said exactly that, has made it very clear. But ...not sure I want to write about that right now, I don't exactly feel like getting all misty. My sister has been getting on my last nerve, acting all nice for like a mil-a-second and then turning around in the same minute and acting like a complete and utter bitch. Which is why I am MORE than ready an willing to move so I don't have to deal with it.

There's tons of other stuff I've got to fill you all up on, but I'm gettin' tired, and I've got to get up early for work in the AM...soooo goodnight!

OUTTIE 5!!

What's your favorite kind of homemade cookie?  Share the recipe if you have it.

We didn't really make cookies per se...we had odd dishes like my sisters home made date curry (even though we're not indian, but african american), we tried many times to make a gingerbread house from scratch, 3 out of the 5 years we didn't get far, but the 4th year and this last year our gingerbread houses were stable and spectacular! With gum drops, and hershy kisses, twizzler outlined windows, and thick angelic white frosting for the snow and glue. And of course we ate them the very MINUTE New years eve was wrung in.

there were these cookies my mummy used to make, I can't for the life of me remember what she called them... I do know that I loved them! They had coconut shavings, and peanuts, chocolate, and cranberries in them. They were the most delicious cookies I had ever tasted! I hadn't thought about them in years...I might have to call my mother just to see if she still has the recipe...

What's your favorite appetizer to order at a restaurant?

 

YAAAAY! I LOVE Calimari (spell)? But now since I'm practicing lacto-ovo vegitarianism I can't eat it :( But it's ok! Cause my second best thing is fried (bad I know) zuchini :D!

Oh WOWSA! Has it been a long time since I've been on here..and yes..I am indeed ashamed.

For this post, I won't be whining like I usually have, OMG! I Know! A first!!!

So things have been great actually...I finally got a job! YAY ME! I'm a Barista at my local Starbucks!! WOOOT! At first I thought at first it was going to be waaaaaaaaaaaay to much to handle. But I think I might be getting it down now.

Home is ok...when Mi Hermana De Mal is not home, or she's just in her room.which currently is most of the time, though she did have a hissy fit today because I wouldn't watch her kids, buuuuuut I let it effect me for hmm... a Mili-second. And then I went on about my business... I could go on and on about her rudeness, selfishness and just all around irresponsible ways, but...this post isn't about that. It's about the happy things going on in my life right now :D!

School is going rather good as well.. had to do a quick catch up this past week, I was alittle behind because of the new J-O-B, but I think I've caught up now, which is excellent!

I think having this job, has and will further help push me out of my shell, so that I can start to understand what I like and dislike about me, and about things around me. There's alot to find out about me...I just ...guess I want to know all of it.

Well..I guess that's it for now...OH OH! Are ya'll watching Grey;s!!!??!?! Dude...DRAMA! But it's aaaaaaaaaall good!! :P!

OUTTIE 5!!